It's the Easter Hanyou!
by chatnoir1
Summary: I blame the Easter Peeps. Naraku tries out a new look and even Sesshomaru laughs. Really. Ties in with Who Moved Naraku's Cheese


Disclaimer: Don't own and despite what people may believe, I really, really don't have anything against rabbits. 

Naraku had spent several days brooding over the cheese issue and decided it meant he needed a new pelt. But not white baboon. Been there, done that, that particular piece of cheese was moldy. He visited a trapper who suggested rabbit, treated so that the fur would be white. Naraku, thinking of the rabbit fur mittens (with textured pleasure palms) he had stolen from Kagome's backpack, agreed. Kagome had carried them in case Inuyasha finally got over his necrophiliac obsession with his dead ex and decided to thow her down in a field, rip her clothes off and make mad hanyou love. Naraku had found the mittens rather sensual. So a whole rabbit robe should be dead sexy. Hmmm. Dead sexy and evil. That was him.

Naraku returned the next week to pick up his robe. A hood had also been attached, with ears. He raised an eyebrow at this, but his baboon mask had included ears as well. They just weren't as floppy and soft, and strokeable, and...cough Better stop before he needed to take a dip in a cold stream. For his trouble, Naraku killed the trapper. He did not want to run into anyone else copying his new look, say for instance Sesshomaru. He decided to try out his new look on Inuyasha and company. But first, he stopped at a stream to look at his reflection. Which is what he was doing when Sesshomaru happened upon him.

"Oi, Sessy. I found some new cheese. What do you think?" Naraku did a little pirouette, and his floppy ears bounced in a happy sort of way. "Dead sexy?"

"Naraku. There is an expression I overheard Kagome say to my brother. I think it fits this situation. You are a thundering looney. And I think I stopped slapping you much too soon." Sesshomaru turned and walked away. When he was far enough away, he did something he rarely (some say never) did. He laughed. Truly laughed. For about fifteen seconds. Then the mask returned. He had a reputation to think about.

Naraku ran his hands down his rabbit fur robe and spoke soothingly to it. "Do not listen to him, my pet. He is just jealous." He went in search of Inuyasha and company and found them enjoying a picnic. He was almost there when he struck his foot on a sharp rock. Cursing and hopping on one foot, he approached the shocked group.

"Konnichiwa, Naraku." Kagome giggled. "You look like the deranged cousin of the Easter Bunny (with a nod to _A Christmas Story_)."

"Nani?" Naraku was beginning to think he had settled on a bad piece of cheese.

"Well the Easter Bunny hops around, like you were doing, delivering decorated eggs and candy from a basket. He's also a fertility symbol, but they forget that part of it."

_Well, at least I got the dead sexy part right _Naraku thought to himself. He felt something stroking his back and turned around to hiss at Miroku. "Grope my ass, hentai monk, and lose a hand."

"But you are so soft." Miroku sighed and tried to control his roving hand. But as usual, it had a mind of its own and a palm cupped Naraku's ass, stroking the rabbit fur. Before Naraku could react, Sango initiated the second attack.

"And cute." Sango added. She just had to touch those ears, so she went over and stroked them "Kawaii!"

"And cuddly." Shippo hugged him.

"Feh. What is wrong with you all? This is Naraku. We want him dead." Inuyasha stood there arms crossed as the others hugged and stroked their mortal enemy, who was looking majorly freaked by it all. Kagome took Inuyasha by the hand and had him touch the fur. Inuyasha had to agree, it was soft. The Saimyoushou passed over and seeing what was going on beneath them, decided their master had taken leave of his senses and attacked. Inuyasha and the others scattered, as the Saimyoushou attempted to sting Naraku back to sanity. They were majorly freaked as well, though being insects, you couldn't tell.

"CHIKUSHO!" Naraku did his trademark whirl of black smoke and the Saimyoushou followed. He threw off the offending rabbit robe and everything else he was wearing and dove into the cold stream. The Saimyoushou picked up the rabbit robe and carried it off. Naraku came back out of the water and sat to pick the stingers out of his skin. When he had them all, he dressed and returned home.

The next morning, a somewhat sore Naraku was out looking for herbs to counteract the Saimyoushou's poison, when a large net fell up on him. It had special charms placed on it to prevent his escape. Kuso. To Naraku's suprise, the hunter turned out to be Sesshomaru. "Ohayo, Sessy. You aren't taking a page from Kikyo's recent penchant for roleplay are you? If you want a romp in the sack, all you need do is ask." Naraku flicked a tongue at him.

"Naraku. I have decided you need help. Why I should care is beyond me, but I find it very annoying that my chief enemy was most recently seen dressed as a large rabbit. Therefore, I am going to take you back to my manor and torture you until you are back to your evil self." Sesshomaru pulled the net closed and began to drag Naraku behind him.

"Ano, Sessy? You aren't going to drag me all the way back, are you? Sessy? But there are sharp rocks and thorns. Sessy?"

"Urusai na! Or will I have to gag you as well?" When Naraku fell silent, Sesshomaru let a very small smile of satisfaction cross his handsome, if cold, features. He was going to enjoy this.

owari


End file.
